you say tomatoe, i say salmonella

I am not a fan of vegetables. And by "not a fan" i mean that i hardly eat them at all. part of me wishes i did; for health reasons, yes, but mostly because in social settings i'd be able to avoid the "why aren't you eating your salad?" conversation. I'm not really embarrassed about it, it's just annoying to constantly have to explain my food peculiarities and then making people feel like they need to accommodate my food preferences if they have me over for dinner. So it gives me a small amount of joy to see that tomatoes have become a threat to our national security (threat level red).

It personally gives me even greater joy because my mom has a tomatoe story that has become part of our family lore (i'm sure your family has those types of stories). It is a "try new foods" lecture that is recited with predictable regularity. The short version is as follows:

As a child my mom disliked tomatoes. One day she saw her cousins eating raw tomatoes in the same manner that one usually eats an apple. Watching the juice drip down their chins (a key element to the story), my mom decided to retry the forbidden fruit. She discovered that she does like tomatoes and the rest is history (to be recounted ceaselessly).

Now i can just picture salmonella dripping down their chins and i'll never be tempted to eat a new food again.